NOW

What is fate?

An invisible architecture of existence, a thread spun by unseen hands that winds through the labyrinth of a life until it finds its end. Fatality, we can call it.

Bound by the very same scripture, a Pacific salmon also starts its life in the gravel shallows of a mountain stream as a tiny, translucent bead of life. To fulfill its fate, the salmon leaves its cradle, journeys hundreds of miles, transforming its own body to survive the salt of the vast, indifferent ocean.

For years, it battles the tides, evades the leviathans of the deep, and grows silver and strong. Then, an invisible signal flares—an internal magnetic compass and the ancestral memory of scent—and the salmon turns back. It swims against the crushing weight of the current, leaping up waterfalls and dodging the claws of bears.

As it nears its birthplace, the salmon undergoes a haunting metamorphosis. Its silver scales turn a bruised, fiery red; its jaw hooks into a fierce, prehistoric snarl.

It is no longer eating; it is consuming itself. It is burning its own muscles and organs as fuel to reach the finish line. It is a creature made of pure, distilled will.

It dies quietly in the shallows. But even in death, the fate is perfect—its decaying body provides the resource of life that fertilizes the towering trees of the forest and feeds the next generation.

“Tara! Watch out!” I barely registered Roshni’s words before the scalpel made contact with my palm—a sharp penalty for my own ignorance.

A low hiss left my mouth as I brought my hand closer to my face to see. To see how many threads in the lines of my palm were cut, and which ones were gone. Foolish.

“Seriously, Tara? What happened to you this morning? You’re acting abnormally. See for yourself, you cut your hand!” Roshni kept scolding me as she took me in front of the basin to wash my hands.

No. Everything seemed fine. The fine to finest little delicate lines carved on my hands by the Almighty, they seemed normal, whole, yet not truly whole in a sense.

An unremovable line drawn with a being's soul power in their hands. 

Fate.

“Let’s go yaaarrr! Kaveri aur Sahil ab tak canteen pe wait kar rahe honge. Mast bhook lagi hai.” Roshni whined as she dragged me along, picking up my anatomy kit, arranging it, and tucking it into my bag before walking out of the classroom, holding my hand.

[Let’s go, dear! Kaveri and Sahil must be in the canteen by now. I am so hungry.]

❃

“Aaj to yeh professor kuch aur hi thi,” Roshni hissed with annoyance.

[Today that professor was something.]

“Raat ko biwi ne shayad lagane—” I stamped my palm on Kaveri’s mouth. This girl is something.

[Maybe at night, the wife didn’t let him-]

“Sahi me yaar, itna dhamki to mujhe meri baap ne bhi aaj tak diya hoga.” Sahil shrugged as he took a seat and stretched his arms as if he had fought a war and come back home.

[Really, even my father hadn’t given me this much threat.]

The four of us gave him a deadpan stare filled with judging silence until he got uncomfortable.

“Ahem– Aise kyu dekh–”

[Ahem– Why are you looking-]

“Baap ne bhi nahi diya hoga, guys, are we sure this is coming from the very person who got kicked out of his house a week ago by his dear father?” Kaaveri raised his eyebrows.

“Oh, and not to mention, wo insaan huamare ghar anath ki tarah jaga dhunde ayi thi; he even took my Abbu’s worn-out lungi because his pants were torn,” Roshni added.

[Oh, and not to mention, that person came searching for a place to stay at our house like an orphan — he even took my Abbu's worn-out lungi, because his pants were torn.]

“Lekin Maa ne Raat ko hi wapas leke gya tha. Aur pant kutte ne phad diya tha.” Now he looked down and whispered like a little boy who didn't know how to win his debate. Roshni and Kaveri burst into laughter.

[But Mom took me back that night itself. And the pants were torn by a dog.]

“Khana khaye ab? Kal test hain na? Padhna bhi to hai,” Was curious about the dog story but had to stop the roasting of the poor boy, but my fate– my freaking fate- now they diverted their attention solely on me.

[Let’s eat now? Tomorrow’s test, right? We have to study too.]

Roshni snapped at me, “Tu to padhai ki baat na hi kar; hum garibo ek hafte bhi padhe na, to bhi is madam ji ke ek din pe padhke humse zyaada marks lekar top kar leti hain.”

[Don't even bring up studying with you; even if we poor folks study for a whole week, this madam here studies for just one day and still tops with higher marks than us.]

Kaveri nodded, “ Aur waise bhi, test ki itni parwa, wo bhi us insaan ki jo ki Doctor kabhi ban na nahi chahti hai, madam?”

[And anyway, why so much concern about the test — especially from someone who never even wants to become a doctor, madam?]

“Kaise banti— Maths ne dhokha de diya na? Maine apni mu aur kaan kharab kar li thi ise kehte kehte ki aa ja, meri behen hum eksath meds padhenge, tu to waise bhi Biology aur Chemistry pe kinta accha hai. Par nahi, madam ji ko to country top engineer banni thi.” Roshni complained.

[How could she become one— math betrayed her, right? I wore out my own mouth and ears saying it to her, 'Come on, my sister, let's study medicine together; you're so good at Biology and Chemistry anyway.' But no, madam here wanted to become the country's top engineer.]

I looked at Sahil, who gave me a sheepish smile. I shouldn't have tried saving him.

But Roshni’s words were enough to send me back to those moments of hope, devotion, and sacrifices that brought me where I am today.

Maybe it's my fate. Sometimes I really wonder why fate exists, and that too, so cruelly that it outweighs the imploring prayers of the yearning souls. Couldn't it just grant people what or who they hopelessly longed for?

They came into the world of the mortals from a woman who didn't ask for someone to protect her, to be with her.

Lack of companionship couldn’t stand as an obstacle to her way of becoming a mother.

Nyx.

Not just a personification of night; a fundamental force even the king of the gods was said to stand in both awe and fear of her.

The depth of Tartarus, a mansion wrapped in dark clouds, was her lone residence of sovereignty before she brought the most transcendent domains of the universe into the world.

Hypnos (Sleep), Thanatos (Death), Eris (Strife), Nemesis (Retribution), Momus (Blame), Oizys (Distress), Geras (Old Age), Dolos (Deceit), and Moirai (Fates).

Her children. The emergence of order from the void.

By giving birth to the daughters who represented destiny, Nyx created the laws that even the gods followed.

Where the winged deities don't hold a candle, who am I, nothing but a mortal, to cause an aberration to the sacred balance?

“Areee, kaha gum ho jati hain tu kabhi kabhi?” Roshni nudged me.

[Oh hey, where do you get lost sometimes?]

“Nothing. I am done.” I said, getting up.

“Kya done? Tune aadhi bhi khatam nahi kiya.” Sahil griped.

[What done? You haven’t even finished half.]

“I am full. Let’s go to the orphanage. We are getting late.” They all glared at me together.

I gave them my puppy-dog eyes. They glared at me harder. Sighing, I started finishing my food.

“By the way, tu kya humare sath chalegi Medical Camp pe? There's so much to learn.” Sahil asked.

[By the way, will you go with us to the medical camp? There’s so much to learn.]

“I know, but I am not the type to stay away from my family for long, right? Isko jaane dete hain, teen mahine baad wo aur ek camp hai na? Main tab jaungi.” I explained.

[Let this one pass. There is another camp three months later, right? I will go then.]

They didn’t seem convinced but didn’t argue back and nodded sadly.

“Main tujhe bohot miss karne wali hun, yaar.” Sighing, Roshni hugged me from the side.

[I am going to miss you so much, dear.]

“Anyways, aaj report bhi to submit Karni hain, waqt zyaada nahi hai, chal.” Kaveri got up, picking up her plate.

[Anyways, gotta do the report submission as well; don’t have much time, let’s go.]

❃

“Main ghar a gayi.” The old habit still ran through my veins, though the tone had changed drastically over the past few years.

[I am home.]

Life makes everyone grow up eventually, whether they want it or not. Let it be cruel or unforgiving.

“A gayi meri Nayan beta, school– thuri, College kaisa tha aaj?” Dadi chuckled between her words, offering her warm voice as an embrace, which reminded me that at least there were some parts to make it bearable.

[Oh, my Nayan's here — school, sorry, how was college today?]

“Hmmmm, you still haven't gotten over my school, huh? I don't even miss my school like you.” I pouted as I bent to her level on the sofa she was sitting on.

“Hahah, aisi koi baat nahi, wo adat padh gyi hain na itne saalon me. Aur humari umar bhi to badh rahi hai na, to thoda thoda bhul jaate hain hum.” She laughed, which made me smile too.

[Hahaha, it's nothing like that — the habit's just settled in over so many years, you know. And our age is increasing too, so we forget little things here and there."

“I'll freshen up.” I got up after giving her a quick peck.

❃

“Maine to kaha hi tha ki yeh ladki acchi nahi hai, ab dekh kaise saapon ki tarar das rahi hai,” Dadi grumbled while shaking her head.

[I told you already that this girl isn't good — now look how she's biting like a snake.]

“Sahi Maa, aap dekhiye na iski fashion sense se hi kisi ko samajh jani chahiye ki yeh villain hai.” Sulekha Bua said.

[Right, Mom, just look — from her fashion sense alone, anyone should understand that she's a villain.]

“Ab is gadha hero ko kab pata chalega is shaytan ke baare mein…”

[Now when will this donkey hero come to know about this devil…]

“Itne din mein to yeh heroine ki puri zindegi uchal ke rakh dega.” Disappointment, undeniable in Sulekha Bua’s voice.

[In the meantime, she will turn the heroine’s life upside down.]

“Hmmmmmm. Tum logon ko to abhi ke abhi protest pe baithni chahiye. Agar hero ko villain ke baare mein batana chahte ho to usse to meet karni padegi na? Aise TV pe chikhne se thodi na sunega? Aur tension to bilkul bhi mat lo, main wahi tum logon ke protection ke liye rahunga.” Someone joined, and two cushions flew in his direction the very next second.

[Hmmmmmm. You two should honestly go stage a protest right now. If you want to tell the hero about the villain, you'll have to actually meet him, right? He's not going to hear you just from you two screaming at the TV. And don't worry at all — I'll be right there for your protection. ]

Surya Bhai. Of course.

“Tere paas humare emotions mazak lagta hain Kya?” Sulekha Bua asked, clearly offended.

[Do you take our emotions as a joke?]

“Do din hue hain policewala bana hain, aur aaj hi itna ghamand—”

[It's only been two days since he became a policeman, and already so much arrogance—]

“Aur neech harkatein, aur kuch mahine ke baad yeh ladka kya karega, bhagwan jane. Jija Ji, aap kuch nahi kahenge kya apne bete ko?” Sulekha Bua finished for Dadi and turned towards Chaitanya Phoopha, who was quietly reading a book about politics, in which I don’t have even an ounce of interest.

["And such lowly/despicable actions — who knows what this boy will do after a few months. Jija Ji, aren't you going to say anything to your son?]

“Inhe tang Karna band karo, agar kaam nahi hai to jake garden ki ghaas kat lo.” He muttered with annoyance and refocused on his book.

[Stop annoying them; if you don’t have any work, then cut the grass in the garden.]

“Ahm— To kaisa chal raha humari Doctor madam ki padhayi?”

[Ahm- So, how’s our Doctor madam’s story going?]

Ab mere upar aa gaya. Badhiya.

[And now it’s on me. Amazing.]

I stared at him as he snatched the phone from my hand and started to watch the animated video of Caesar's section. Galat time pe phone liya. As expected, my dear brother couldn’t watch the video for more than 15 seconds. Clearing his throat, he gave the phone back to me.

“Gynac banega? Achha hai.” His eyes were anywhere and everywhere except on me and my phone.

[ Will become a gynac? Good.]

“Nahi dekhna? Dekho na kitni acchi animation hain– so vivid–.” I stood on the couch and tried to shove it on his face.

[Don't want to watch? Look, the animation is so good— so vivid— ]

“Nahi dekhna mujhe, tu hi dekh.” He looked away and started moving upstairs.

[I don’t wanna watch; you go.]

“Kya re, police banega tu, ek delivery nahi dekh sakti.” The taunt came from Dadi, which caused rhythmic laughter in the living room.

[What, you're gonna become a policeman? You can't even handle one delivery.]

“Apne bacche ki delivery ke waqt kya hoga iska?” Bua’s question made us pause before we broke into laughter again.

[What's going to happen when it's time for his own child's delivery? ]

“Kiska delivery ho raha hai?” Siddharth Bhai’s voice came before he fully entered the living room.

[Whose delivery is happening?]

“Hua nahi hai abhi, par hoga, future me,” Bua said.

[It hasn't happened yet, but it will, in the future.]

“Haan, wo to thik hai par kiska?”

["Yeah, that's fine, but whose? ]

“Teri biwi ki, jab tera baccha payda hoga,” Bua explained, and Dadi chuckled.

[Your wife's — when your child is born.]

“Haan, wo to thik hai– Whattt!?” Bhai shrieked as he almost said something which would have cost him his dignity.

[Yeah, that’s fine– What!?]

“Haan se zindegi thodi na chalegi? Shadi to karni padegi na? Ya phir tu puri zindegi kuwaara banke rehna chahti hain, bata de,”

[ Just saying 'yes' isn't going to run your life, is it? You'll have to get married eventually, right? Or do you want to stay unmarried your whole life? Tell me.]

Oh, this was getting interesting, knowing my elder brother won’t have a normal wedding, probably.

“Are yeh koi prank task hain kya jo ghar se bahar niklu aur kisi bhi ladki ko utha ke lekar au aur kahu yeh lo bahu.” He tried to reason with them, but Dadi was in her baddie mode already; she poured all the annoyance of Surya bhai onto my brother.

[Is this some kind of prank task, where I just walk out of the house, grab any random girl, bring her back, and say, 'Here, take her, this is your daughter-in-law '?]

“Tujhse to agar itna sa bhi kaam ho jaye to main Kaashi jakar saun bhrahmano ko bhojan karwati.”

[If at least that much could be done by you, I would have fed a thousand Brahmins.]

Bhai was speechless. I couldn’t help but snort this time with the others, only to get a glare from my brother, which didn’t really stop me until the next thing Sulekha Bua said, which made the smile on my face completely vanish into thin air.

“Bilkul sahi bola aapne, Maa. Yeh iski dost jaisa hoti na to aaj tak to hume delivery na ho, par khush khabri mil hi jati.”

[You said it exactly right, Mom. If she were like this friend of hers, our delivery would never happen, but at least we'd get some good news eventually.]

“ Ja, jake Anirudh se hi kuch sikh le, pehle se hi fix karliya hain ab bas shaadi karni hain, tujhse to do kadam age nikla yeh ladka.” Dadi scoffed.

[Go on, take a leaf out of Anirudh's book; he’s already got everything sorted and just needs to get married—that guy is two steps ahead of you.]

“Wo to asal mein —” He started, but got interrupted by my mom and Badi Ma, who entered with snacks along with the servants. The aroma alone would have been enough to make my mouth water, but my appetite had left me long ago.

[That, actually-]

“Sabko bula ke lao,” Mom told the servant.

[Call everyone.]

“Kya baatein chal rahi thin, humein bhi batao.” Badi Maa asked, to which Choti Bua replied, “Anirudh ke baare mein baat ho rahi thi. Yeh dono ki hi shaadi ki umar ho gyi hain na, isilye,”

[Tell us too—what were you talking about?]

[We were talking about Aniruddh. Both of them have reached the age for marriage, you know—that’s why.]

“Haan, wo to hain, Kuch aur din beet gya to ise koi bhi ladki ke baap nahi lega–”

[Yes, that’s true; if a few more days pass, no girl's father will accept him—]

My brother looked down. Suspicious. What happened to him now?

“Aur baat karein Anirudh ki, we don’t have to worry that much. We will get him married when he comes back this time.” Maa’s words shouldn’t have any effect on me. But they had, bitter and cold. “Though Sonakshi is worried, Anirudh never lets anyone meddle in his relationships. We would have to convince him when he comes this time. Be it Desai’s daughter or someone else. His parents are worried. His flight has already boarded. He will be on the soil by tomorrow.”

Everyone nodded.

He was coming back.

Finally.

“That’s great. But what did you mean by someone else– He loves that girl—” Choti Bua muttered.

“Main aaaa gayiiiiiiiii! Bhook lagi haiiiii! Mujhe khana doooooo!” My sister’s voice echoed in the hallway.

[I am back! I am hungry! Give me food!]

“Wahi. Mujhe bhi.” Siddharth bhai started making his plate. One by one, following him did the same, while I took my phone and started pacing to my room.

[Exactly. Me too.]

“Arre beta snacks layi hun, kha ke—” Mom started, but I stopped her.

[I have brought snacks, go after eating–]

“I am not hungry right now, Mom. I will have the leftovers at midnight between my study sessions.” Saying I was moving forward again, before Something crossed my mind. I turned back and dropped the news, which was no less than a bomb to my family. “ I have a Medical Camp tomorrow, which I am going to join. It should be wrapped up within two days, but it can take more. The offer came late, so I couldn’t tell you earlier, but this Camp is very important and beneficial to me, so I am going. Mom, can you help me pack?” I said in one go.

For half a minute, there was an uncomfortable silence. From never going alone to somewhere I had to stay overnight, not even when my parents urged me to, saying I would be away from home for a few days.

My family was in pure shock. Nothing unexpected.

“Mom, aap help karne a rahe hain ya main khud karu?” She blinked a couple of times.

[Mom, are you coming to help or I do it myself?]

“Par beta you—”

[But child you—]

“Main aapko aur Papa ko samjha dungi ek sath, ab aoo naaaa,” I tried, whining to make her thoughts lighter.

[I will explain everything to you and Dad. Now come.]

“Y-Yes. Sabko serve karke aa rahi hun.” Her voice lacked certainty.

[Y-yes. I am coming back after serving everyone.]

I nodded.

❃

The starter let out a dry, agonizing whine. It coughed once, twice, a pathetic metallic rattle that seemed to echo down the empty street.

“Thodi der baad nikate, raat bhar padhayi ki thi, kuch aur pal so leti,” Roshni whined.

[ A little later, Nikat—who had studied all night—thought she might as well sleep for a few more moments.]

“Itni subha ko nikalna padega pehle pata hota to bilkul nahi ata.” Sahil added, but got a smack from Kaveri.

[If I had known I’d have to leave this early, I wouldn’t have come at all.]

Liar. He knew everything from the beginning and planned all this. But now he seemed like he was one minute away from exploding. He was pissed. Don’t know why.

“Kyu raat ko girlfriend ke sath sexting nahi kar paya kya?” Sleep was covering our eyes too, but listening to her, we all snapped our heads towards her with a warning glare and warning, “ Kaveri!!!”, causing her to chuckle between her words. “Baatein karte karte so nahi paya, beta?” Her smile too innocent to be real.

[Why? Couldn't you do sexting with your girlfriend last night?]

Nonetheless, I have a feeling that Kaveri’s dirty theory might be true.

“You dirty-minded people, Hahah…” She shook her head and took out her makeup kit to brush up so casually, as if she hadn’t almost said something to destroy our morning. Sometimes it makes me doubt my own parents; had they really brought my sister from somewhere else, like Siddharth Bhai used to say? The resemblance in my sister’s and Kaveri’s word management is uncanny. Same application, just different fonts.

With the tires now maintaining a rhythmic, hypnotic hiss against the smooth highway, the faint frequencies of the radio became discernible with each passing tune, along with fine mist hanging in the air and flowing through the window occasionally, brushing my face as I had my head out of the window, leaning on my arm. Four years. I felt it all coming back out of nowhere while my vision became blurry.

“Time, curious time

Gave me no compasses, gave me no signs

Were there clues I didn't see?”

Wow. So now Gods are being sarcastic too.

“Turn up the volume, chhokree, it’s Taylor Mata Ji,” Kaveri ordered Sahil, while she started singing out her favourite parts loudly and humming the rest of it.

“And isn't it just so pretty to think

All along there was some

Invisible string

Tying you to me?"

Blinking rapidly, I tried to cool down the burning warmth behind my eyes and send them somewhere back, somewhere so deep, where they would be weighed down with too many other distractions to come back.

“Are you crying, Tara?” Roshni’s voice carried confusion and concern.

“No. It's just the wind and rain.” I tried to keep my voice steady.

“Then just close the window, na, main bhi bheeg rahi hun aise to.” She reached to pull up the window glass, but I stopped her instantly.

“No.” Loud. Close to yelling. Okay, it was a bit of yelling.

She stared at me skeptically, and a faint crease of recognition with annoyance appeared on her forehead before she scoffed and sat looking forward, arms crossed.

Helpless.

Hopeless.

What was the use of shutting the windows against a passing breeze, when it only carried the scent of reality, while the real storm had been brewing within me the entire time?

I have played my part. Even when it tore my heart apart and bled. Even when it snatched the only thing that motivated me. Not anymore.

Now, it was time to do the exact opposite, let alone intervene anymore. I will sit back and watch as the Fates write my forthcoming resolution.

✰ To Be Continued ✰

A/N

I know, guys, I ghosted after literally posting one chapter; you can curse me prolly🫣...(No, please don't🥹).
MY LAPTOP IS DEAD. That is the reason for the delay. DW, pretty people; I am buying a new one. Soon(Main gareeb hun🤡).
Kidding.💀
Till then, I will upload shorter chapters or in parts.
Oh, and please vote or comment your thoughts about the chapter.
Can we please have 10 votes for the next update? *puppy eyes*